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Here I’m laying out a four-point plan for the genre’s renaissance. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the ultimate guide to the most likely candidates to be saviours of Irish hip-hop right now*.
You may remember Barry Achilles K from a rather bizarre Martial Arts ‘Dear Coach’ song and then a Rubberbandits diss track. Well, big news. There’s an album on the way! It’ll feature future hits like ‘What the Fuck is Love’, ‘C’ant [sic] Beat the Soldier’, ‘An Garda Siochana’ and ‘Memba D’Jacho’ – a schizophrenic tribute track to Michael Jackson which a mate described as “music made by someone who hasn’t ever heard music but has had it described to them by a four year old.”
Apparently, Achilles is 100% real even if ‘Rockin’ This Place’ sounds like five songs playing at once. He is a lyrical genius though – that cannot be questioned. He does seem to have a lot of vendettas as expressed by this Rubberbandits diss track. Note to budding rappers: If you’re dissing a pisstake hip-hop group then you should probably give up.
2. Go West
Irish rap should try and emulate “in the club, sipping Cristal” American rap videos more. Like these guys, KK & P1easy from Limerick with their tune My Beorghs. There’s a whack of So Solid Crew of this one. This was shot in the Trinity Rooms. Another here.
3. An Irish legend for a hip-hop crossover?
What would it take for the geriatric population of Ireland to take an interest in hip-hop? The answer is simple. Get a bona fide ledgebag to “rap” at his concerts. Sure, they wouldn’t notice what he’s saying anyway. Prime candidate for going gangsta – Daniel O’ Donnell. He’s already done it y’all.
4. Be Unique
Isn’t it much better for Irish people to appropriate an American accent and the bravado of a gangsta? Of course it is! How else would these guys ever be taken seriously?
Limerick represent! It’s the infamous Nailerz!
Dublin we ain’t forgetting about you! Here’s the Millionaire Boyz with their ode to Dublin. Thanks to Una for this.
Or they could take a lead from Anto and Finton’s ‘Gerrup Outta Dat’, Lisa Dee, Raggaman Bob, Captain Moonlight or Ophelia who actually use their own accent and have their own identity but that’s not “keeping it real” is it?
This guy isn’t bad actually. He samples DJ Mujava’s Township Funk here. The song is about “sexy robots”.
* – Or not.